For sex addicts who are not Christians 

Many people have been emotionally wounded at some point in their lives.  These wounds can create a weakness in us that makes us vulnerable to sex addiction.  Some common wounds that contribute to sex addiction are molestation, rejection, abuse and neglect.  A natural reaction is to seek something to remove the pain of our wounds, and to help us get our minds off it.  Since sex can be such a pleasurable experience, people often run to it as a source of medication for the pain. 

For example, a person may find solace in pornography from the pain of rejection, past failures, or insecurity.  Porn facilitates his or her sexual fantasy, which offers them the feeling of being in control , being loved and/or being sexually desired.   It may give him or her a temporary comfort which soothes the pain of their troubles.  

Porn's pleasures come with a price.   They feed a fire in us called lust.  Lust is "intense or unbridled sexual desire" (Webster's).   Lust acts like a fire that burns out of control.  It tries to consume more and more of our thoughts and resources.  The more we feed our mind with sex images,  the more lust grows in our life.  

The power of lust can be broken.   An obvious but often forgotten fact is that we have the power to choose what we will let into our eyes and minds.  Here are a few practical steps toward exercising your power to choose and breaking lust's grip on your life:

1.  Reduce/eliminate fuel for your lust:  If you were attempting to put out a raging fire, what actions would you take?  One thing you wouldn't do would be to keep putting logs on the fire, right?  Likewise, in putting out the fires of lust, we must stop adding fuel.  

Take a moment to identify the fuel sources for your lust.  What actions can you take to reduce or eliminate those sources?  For example, internet porn is a common fuel source for lust.  One way to reduce or eliminate it is by installing "filtered access," that blocks porn sites from your computer (see filters page).   Other possible actions to take include:

2.  Invest your time in something positive:  Take the time that is freed up from your actions in step one and invest it in doing something positive to help others and yourself.  For example, you could join a support group.  Support groups offer a variety of benefits.  They can help you break secrecy concerning your struggle and connect with other people who are similar situations as you.  Other "time investments" suggestions could be:

These actions will help you get started on the road to "sexual sobriety,"  but there is something else we'd like to share.  We believe that in order to find lasting freedom from sexual addiction, you will need to be at peace with God.  When we're at peace with God, we receive power to live truly changed lives.  For more information about this, please visit our Peace with God page. 

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