Teen Sex Addiction
Sex addiction is not restricted to any age
group, but it seems to often get rooted during the teen years. We wanted to address the
teens out there in the hopes that they will join the growing
numbers of people breaking free of addiction. This page is written
primarily to teens who are interested in living to please God. If you do
not know God, but are interested in learning about him, please visit our Peace
with God page.
The habits you form and the thought patterns you practice
during your teen years are
setting the foundations for the rest of your life. Pornography and other
"sexually-charged" material cement unforgettable memories in your mind
that will affect your future marriage and sex life. It will also corrupt
your everyday thought patterns and how you relate to people. Other
consequences can include:
- Grieving God's Spirit
- Giving the devil a foothold
to oppress you
- Curses on you, your partner and your future
children
- Spiritual confusion
- Emotional confusion
- Unbridled pursuit of lust and perversion
These are just a few of the many possible
consequences that could affect your body,
mind and spirit. Please see
Consequences
of Sex Sin for more info.
Things that make your
situation challenging: Your situation as a teen has many factors that
can make resisting sexual sin very difficult. Each one of these factors is
manageable with God's help.
- Raging hormones: It may
seem a cruel reality that the hormones kick in during our teen years and heighten
our sexual awareness and sensitivity. The urges can be so potent that
the idea of waiting several years for marriage to enjoy sex is hard to
imagine. It is possible to wait! The rewards for doing so include
maximum intimacy with your future spouse and a memory free of past sexual
encounters.
- Masturbation: Many teens
fall into a masturbation habit for one reason or another. It is often
regarded as a harmless release of sexual energy and some even deem it
beneficial. The truth is that masturbation increases the sexual
pressures in your mind and body. It actually makes it more difficult to walk
in sexual purity. Please visit our masturbation
page for more info.
- Computers: As a teen , you
are probably well skilled at using the computer to find what you want on the
internet. Teens often can run circles around their parents and keep
them in the dark about what they've been viewing on the web, and/or who
they've been chatting with. Leveling with your parents will require
you to surrender any pride that you have, and
courage to help your parents understand the extent of your sex addiction
problem. If they are enabling you to continue your addiction by their
lack of computer knowledge, then you owe it to them to tell them how they
can help you.
- Peer Pressure: Pride and
the hunger for approval are the underlying drivers in the power of peer
pressure. This power can be significant, and it has often ruined
people early in life through sexual promiscuity, drugs and alcohol.
The power can be broken when we look to God in humility for our identity,
approval and rewards in life. This often means we may appear to be
foolish, prudish, religious, naive and unpopular with our
"friends." People may even
mock us. Jesus said that we will be blessed when people mock and
ridicule us for his name's sake (Matthew
5:10-12). God will help us in those situations by strengthening
our hearts to continue to walk the narrow road (Psalm
31:24).
- Television and Movies: TV and
movies powerfully affect our judgment. Part of the reason they are so
powerful is that they use a combination of sensory impressions to
communicate a worldly value system that is contrary to God's commands for
healthy living. The entertainment industry is constantly promoting
sexual promiscuity in every form. If you continue to feed your mind with TV and movies,
you will be more likely to buy into the sexual fantasies they portray.
Additionally, your
chances of breaking sex addiction will be very slim.
Sources for Help: If you
sense God prompting you to get help for your situation, I encourage you to take
steps now. The longer you delay responding to God, the more chance you
have of being distracted by the temptations of the world. Here are some
sources for further help:
Truth to Remember: The
truth is the greatest weapon we have against the devil's lies. Truth
destroys the power of the lies. Here are some key truths to keep in mind
as you move forward:
- God gave us sex as one of the greatest gifts of all.
When we reserve our sexuality for our marriage, we maximize our chances for intimacy, sexual satisfaction, peace
and fidelity.
- Sex before
marriage (fornication) is sin (1
Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19; Hebrews 13:4; Colossians
3:5) and it has destructive consequences.
- Fantasizing about sex sin is
just as sinful as physically committing the act (Matthew
5:28).
- Your eyes are the gateways to
your soul. Whatever you allow to fill your eyes, will fill your
soul. Jesus said, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good,
your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body
will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that
darkness!" Matthew 6:22-23
Tips for success in fighting daily
temptations:
- Ask God to strengthen you and show you the way
out of any temptation you might face
- Ask God to funnel your sex drive energy into
healthy, nonsexual activities
- Praise God. This can be singing a song,
reading a scripture (ex. psalm) or simply telling God how much you love
him. Praise helps connect you with God's
power that will help you overcome the temptations and any evil forces behind
them.
- Commit your eyes to only look at pure and
wholesome things, i.e. don't lust after people at school, stop looking at
porn, destroy any magazines and/or image files that are causing you to
sin.
- Commit to reading the Bible each day, along with some prayer
and praise time. Pray that God will protect you from temptation throughout the day.
- Memorize some key temptation verses to recite when you feel it
coming on. For example: 1 Corinthians 10:13; Hebrews 2:18.
Psalm
119:9-11 is an excellent verse to keep in mind at all times. (see more temptation verses)
- Find some other members of the same sex who are committed to
sexual purity and meet on a regular basis to discuss your walk with God and keep each
other accountable.
- When you fall, don't give up and don't accept
the devil's
condemnation. Approach God with a repentant heart and ask for Him to forgive you
and strengthen you again. Jesus paid the price for your sin! Psalm 51 is excellent to pray in this situation.
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